Why Is a Pathological Narcissist Stalking You and What Can You Do About It?

Over 1.4 million people become victims of stalking annually in the United States. The victims are not only women since one in 45 men will be stalked at some point in his life. This is the data coming from the research conducted by the National Center for Victims of Crime, which also states a former or current partner is responsible for stalking more than two-thirds of those victims. 

Most of the victims did confide in a friend or a family member (93.4 percent) that they were being stalked, but one in twenty-five of them considered stalking a personal matter and did not report it to police.

If we take into consideration that the stalkers are often former partners, the trend of underreporting is even more disturbing. 

Why Do Pathological Narcissists Stalk Their Exes?

Stalkers often exhibit narcissistic behavior — a tendency to control everyone in their lives, and particularly their victims. The behavior can even go on for years.

Do you think it is possible for someone to stalk you for 18 years? One Reddit user has had this particular problem. She described the situation where her ex went from being totally fine when he was in contact with her to becoming completely unstable and vengeful once she cut him off. He has been calling, texting, and showing up at her place of work consistently for almost 18 years.

The disturbing fact? She didn’t even know he was a narcissist until after she ended the relationship.

Narcissism and Stalking — What Is the Connection?

Not every narcissist is a stalker, but the probability of a narcissist becoming a stalker is high. Narcissists don’t handle rejection well because they see it as it’s a type of criticism or even a personal attack. 

To cope with the breakup, narcissists will fantasize about their exes still being in love with them. Narcissists will try to interfere with their former partners’ lives, first by using digital means, like texts, phone calls, or the internet. They will turn to the stalking entirely once they realize their previous methods give the victim an easy way to reject them.

Why Does a Narcissist Stalk?

A narcissist sees it this way: you were once under their control, and they want that feeling back. When you end a relationship, you tap into their biggest fear — losing control.

Even if the narcissist has moved on, they don’t want you to do the same.

A narcissist wants to know everything you do, think, and feel. He or she wants to know you are miserable. They will not let you “win” the breakup, because your actions are a personal attack on them. 

A narcissist will become delusional that they are still fully present in their victim’s life. This type of behavior is psychotic.

Some common personality traits of the narcissistic stalker are:

  • Selfishness
  • Stubbornness
  • Obsessiveness
  • Impulsiveness
  • Possessiveness
  • Dishonesty
  • Depency and co-dependency on others for a sense of self-worth
  • Self-deprecation

DoNotPay Can Help You Protect Yourself From a Narcissistic Stalker 

Fox details how DoNotPay makes it easier to fight companies by suing them in small claims court

You just ended a toxic relationship, but your narcissistic ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend refuses to leave. A narcissist sees the breakup as a defeat. They feel as though you have somehow beaten them. 

Suddenly your phone is blasting with harassing phone calls and way too many texts. A narcissist might even use some of online harassment methods, track your location, or cyberstalk your social media. The stalking could escalate even more. And how do you stop a stalker once they start showing up everywhere you are?

You can use DoNotPay, a virtual lawyer app, to cut the stalking in its roots or gather evidence for a civil lawsuit. 

A feature called Relationship Protection can help keep you safe from your narcissistic stalking ex

Here are the steps you can take:

  1. Access DoNotPay from your web browser or your iOS device 
  2. Find the Relationship Protection feature
  3. Let our chatbot guide you to the Safety and Stalking option
  4. Give the chatbot the name of your ex
  5. Send a cease and desist letter generated by the app to your stalker

With this letter, you can demand the stalker to stop immediately, and it might work. 

The letter is also written proof that you attempted to settle the matter before going to trial. 

Narcissism and Stalking — What Else You Can Do About It

A narcissist feels entitled to your love, attention, and admiration. This man or woman is manipulative and will make you question if any of his or her behavior can even be considered harassment

Every case is different, and narcissistic outbursts can range from being a minor inconvenience to stepping into the territory of sexual harassment. 

But once you decide to end things, they can turn violent, which is why you should approach this carefully.

Here are some steps you can take:

  1. Break all contact with the narcissist
  2. Create a support system
  3. Document everything
  4. Check your legal options

Break All Contact With the Narcissist Stalking You

Make it clear that you want no further contact and do not hesitate to inform them that you hold them responsible for this behavior. Inform the narcissist that you will take all the necessary steps to protect yourself. 

Follow this by cutting off all channels of communication. Block your ex’s number, email address, and block and report them on social media platforms.

Create a Support System

Don’t do this alone. Be honest with your family and friends. Talking things out with them could help you decide on your next move.

Document Everything

Make sure to write down when and where each interaction between you and your stalker happened and to include details. Save all physical evidence, including gifts, letters, photos, and phone call listings. 

Pay attention to any online interaction — make screenshots of every text, email, and social media thread. Print out everything you can — create a paper trail. 

It is essential to mark down your actions as well. Make a written record of everything you do to resolve the situation, no matter how (un)successful it is. 

Having written evidence is the key to a successful court case if that is the route you decide to take. 

Check Your Legal Options

You have several legal options, though the details depend on the situation you are in. Since stalking is a crime, you can go to federal court with the case. You can also file a civil lawsuit if you want to get compensation for emotional distress. 

If you decide not to go to court, there are some protection options.

Protective Order

Restraining Order

You can apply for a protective order based on stalking in most states, especially if the stalker is an intimate partner or a former partner. The order commands the person who has made unwanted contact with you to stop this behavior. 

A restraining order commands a stalker to stay away from you. If the stalker violates a restraining order, he or she can be arrested. 

DoNotPay Can Help With Other Stuff As Well

Even without filing a lawsuit against a narcissistic ex, you probably have to deal with a significant amount of paperwork every day. 

DoNotPay can do a few more things — other than issuing cease and desist letters and reporting people to Facebook, that is. 

Open DoNotPay in your web browser or download it to your iOS device and check out some of the things DoNotPay can help you with: