How To Tell Your Kids You’re Getting a Divorce—Everything You Need To Know
Probably the most difficult part about getting a divorce is breaking it to your children. Whether it’s a friendly or non-friendly divorce, it’s crucial to make it as easy for them as possible by explaining it openly and supporting them through the process.
In this article, DoNotPay explains how to tell your kids you’re getting a divorce and how to help them through this difficult time. If you’re filing for an uncontested divorce, sign up for our app to draft a divorce settlement agreement without a hassle! Want to learn about the process of filing for divorce and serving divorce papers? We can help with that too!
It’s better for your kids to find out about the divorce from you instead of hearing about it from someone else. You might have reasons for keeping your separation a secret, but your kids might develop trust issues if you do that. Keeping them in the loop would not only allow them to understand the situation properly, but it would also help them cope with it better.
Once you’ve decided to tell your children, the main question is how to do it. There are some ground rules that you should follow:
|Be open and honest||If you don’t communicate openly, your kids might feel distrust and betrayal. Based on their age and intelligence level, inform them about:
|Avoid the blame game||To prevent the kids from resenting your spouse or any third party, avoid accusing anyone in front of them|
|Put on a brave face||Put on a brave face when telling your kids. If you let your emotions get the best of you, your kids might end up comforting you instead of the other way round|
|Understand what your kids are going through||Try to understand your children’s feelings and emotions as well and help them as much as possible|
|Avoid making them choose||Don’t make your kids choose between you and your spouse. It is not fair to put them in the middle of this difficult situation|
The conversation you’re going to have with your kids is going to be tough, regardless of what you say. Here is what you can do:
- Plan your speech carefully
- Keep your emotions in check—Don’t make it more difficult than it already is
- Approach it as a family—Make sure both you and your spouse are available when you talk to them. Try to use the word “we” as much as possible to show a united front
- Develop a non-blaming narrative to prevent them from choosing sides
- Let your kids know that both you and your spouse love them equally and assure them it is not their fault
- Explain the next steps for you and them
- Ask them to talk about their feelings and answer any questions that they might have
It is essential to reassure your kids that, even if you are separating, you are still their parents and will keep on caring for them emotionally and financially. Try to avoid making any promises that you or your spouse won’t be able to keep, such as family holidays or vacations.
Give your children time and space to deal with the situation. As hard as it may be for you, it can be even worse for them. They might place the blame on one parent or blame themselves for the separation.
Try to be as honest as possible while also giving them the room to express their emotions. Keep reassuring them to make the transition smooth and easy. Answer any questions that arise, but avoid getting into details that:
- Don’t concern them
- May make them resent a parent
- Are above their maturity level
In case you feel that your child is too traumatized by the event, consider taking them to a professional therapist to help them deal with the situation in a healthier manner.
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To get a personalized divorce settlement document, here’s what you need to do:
- Access DoNotPay from your web browser
- Type Divorce Settlement Agreement in the search box
- Answer our chatbot’s questions to customize the document
Our AI-powered app will generate the document within minutes. Once you and your spouse sign the document, use our app to get it notarized. With DoNotPay, you can get your document notarized during a live video call without a hassle!
If you want to learn more about divorce procedures, we can answer questions, such as:
- What is mediation in divorce?
- How much does a divorce cost?
- Can you get a divorce without going to court?
- How does divorcing without a lawyer work?
- What is an online divorce?
- How can you get an out-of-court divorce settlement?
- Do you need a divorce lawyer if you agree on everything?
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